How to Make One Fabulous First Impression

What is the first thing someone notices about you? How long does it really take to make a first impression? Read on and find out!

by Nicholas Boothman

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Whether you like it or not, people decide how they feel about you in the first two seconds of seeing you, or hearing you, if it’s on the phone. If they like you, they will unconsciously tend to see the best in you and look for opportunities to say “yes.” If they don’t like you, the opposite is true.

The first thing someone notices about you is the quality and the level of energy you give out. That means your attitude (including your posture). The second thing they respond to is your clothes. In fact, the impact is made so quickly it’s as if they see both things at the same time, and then form their first impressions about you. Your attitude tells people if you are open or closed, charming or alarming. Your posture is an indication of your overall health: humans are hard-wired to seek out healthy mates. Your clothing speaks volumes. It tells people what kind of person you see yourself as. It also can reveal a lot about your socioeconomic status, whether you’re conventional or flamboyant, sexy or modest, trendy or traditional. Take a good hard look at your wardrobe and see if it makes the statement you want.

Here are four concrete steps to help create a terrific first impression:

• First, adjust your attitude. More than anything else it’s your attitude that determines how people feel about you when you first meet. Choose what I call a “useful” attitude – upbeat, welcoming, enthusiastic, etc.

• Second, be charming rather than alarming. That means making eye contact, if only for a couple of seconds – this unconsciously signals that trust is in the air. Just notice the person’s eye color – that’ll do it.

• Third, smile with genuine enjoyment. (Here’s a way to do that. Practice saying the word “great” over and over in a mirror using crazy voices until you feel like a giant idiot or you crack up – then say it under your breath to yourself as you approach people. I guarantee you’ll be smiling.) A smile sends a signal that you’re happy and confident.

• Fourth, keep your body language open and relaxed. Rather than crossing your arms over your chest, go literally “heart to heart” with the other person – point your heart toward theirs, which signals that you’re not going to harm them.

Here are five ways to score you big points when you walk into a room full of strangers.

1. Wear great clothes. More people will take you seriously (don't over do it - don't be better than anyone else).

2. Head for the middle. (Popular people always go to the middle of the room in restaurants, parties classrooms etc.) There’s nothing that demonstrates confidence the way this does. Ever wonder why the people that sit around the edges are called wall-flowers?

3. Move more slowly than usual. People who move fractionally more slowly than others tend to get noticed and come across as sexy. Get into the habit so it becomes natural: otherwise don't bother.

4. 3-second rule. In a social situation, notice someone and within three seconds go over and say something (ask directions, or introduce yourself, or ask a question). Do this several times.

5. Ask "Talk-Show" questions. The best way to start a conversation is with a statement followed by an open question. "I hear Seattle's a fantastic place. If I only had three hours, what should I see?" Remember to give feedback.

Your irresistible first impression is instantly determined by your attitude, your poise and your wardrobe. Enhancing and focusing on these important aspects of your image will do more than boost your chances in the love market, it’ll also boost the way you feel about yourself. When we feel good about ourselves it affects everything. We make better decisions, feel more adventurous, have more energy, and tap into our natural enthusiasm, all of which impacts the nonverbal signals we send out to others. Being on top of our game means others will want to join in and play.

Nicholas Boothman is the author of How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes or Less. His website is http://www.nicholasboothman.com/ Get your copy of Nicholas Boothman's "How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You In 90 Minutes"

HOW TO: Build Community on Twitter

written by Sarah Evans

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Sarah Evans is the director of communications at Elgin Community College (ECC) in Elgin, Illinois. She also authors a PR and social media blog.

Your Twitter community is your life line. The strength of your community determines overall what you will (or won’t) get out of the microblogging platform. What do you want to use Twitter () for? I wanted to build a community where I could engage in dialogue, stay ahead of the social media curve, and share some laughs.
I just shared my objective with you. What’s yours? Start with your community objective and then go for it. Use the 10 tips below as your guide to grow the community which benefits you (and your audience).

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1. Do… Create a user-friendly Twitter ID (@yourname)

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Your Twitter ID is part of your personal brand. Plain and simple. Your first choice for a Twitter ID should be your name. There is nothing stronger for creating your personal brand. If your name is taken (as mine was) find a way to keep it as close as possible. (I added “PR” in front of my name, which worked for me as it reinforced my name and my expertise.)
There are only 140 precious characters available in each Twitter post. The longer your Twitter ID, the more space it takes up, thus limiting your interactions. If at all possible, stay away from numbers or an underscore. As your community grows, you’ll have many names and IDs to remember. Throwing in numbers and underscores makes it more difficult. This could ultimately minimize your interactions.
Are you reading this and thinking you should get a new username or a stronger personal brand? It’s actually pretty easy .

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2. Do… Search for people to follow

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It’s completely normal in Twitter culture to “follow” people you’ve never met. In fact, it’s encouraged. Begin by looking for people with common interests, hobbies or professions. I also like to follow people who are experts in areas I know nothing about.
A few tools to get you started:

• Twitter search () – This is the only search function actually hosted by Twitter. It’s extremely easy to use and offers comprehensive results.
• Twellow () – An application similar to Twitter search except that you can search by categories (which makes results more targeted).
• TwitDir – I like TwitDir because it offers a search function and breaks Twitter users into categories like the top 100 people followed and top 100 updaters.
•A more recent addition worth checking out is the Twitter people directory, WeFollow ()

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3. Do… Learn the lingo. You’ll want to join the crowd. Trust me.

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As with any new network there is a learning curve. Twitter has a quirky lingo all its own. But don’t let that hold you back from interacting. If you don’t understand something, ask someone. That’s how I learned!
A few of the essentials:

• DM = Direct Message
• @ = Use to reply and always include proceeding a Twitter ID in a reply
• RT = Retweet
• Tweet = Sending a message on Twitter
• Tw + any other word. A fun practice on Twitter is to develop a new twist on old words. For example, Tworld = Twitter world, and Tweeples = Those who use Twitter. You get the picture.

It’s an evolving list. Who knows, you might even invent the next “tword.” You can also check out basic Twitter commands.

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4. Do… Know who “@” replies to you

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It may not seem overwhelming at first, but soon after you gain friends on Twitter, conversations tend to move quickly. How will you keep up with it? My personal favorite is TweetDeck () (however it can slow down the functionality of your PC). A great alternative to TweetDeck is Seesmic Desktop (). I recommend a combination of the following:

• Twitter search – If you use Twitter search, also subscribe to the RSS feed. I set up two searches, one with the “@” in front of my Twitter ID and one without. You will get different results for each query.
• Tweetscan – I use Tweetscan as my quality check to see if I’ve missed any replies. You can also see a trends search cloud before you type in your search query.
• Google Alerts – Google Alerts are email updates of the latest relevant Google () results (Web, news, blogs, etc.) based on your choice of query or topic.

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5. Do… Add your Twitter ID to all of your signatures

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Pimp out your Twitter name (and not just on Twitter). As social networks like Twitter continue to go mainstream, you’ll want to be able to connect with new users.
A few opportunities to pimp out your Twitter ID:

• Add under your name when you comment on a blog
• If you friend someone on another social network, add a personal message which includes your ID
• Include a “follow me on Twitter” signature on all of your email accounts or for your social media email signature

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6. Do… Reach out and say something

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No one likes what I call a “virtual voyeur” (i.e. someone who watches social media interactions without responding). Everyone is putting him or herself out there and as far as my experience has shown, people are pretty darn accepting and helpful. Something as simple as a “good morning” often leads to a response. If that doesn’t work, try something a little more aggressive like, “someone say hello!”

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7. Do… Read the bio of those who follow you

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Know something about those who follow you. The information you get from a bio makes it easy to engage in dialogue. If someone lists knitting as a hobby, send them a link to a knitting blog you came across. It opens the door for dialogue and that is what your community is all about.

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8. Do… Promote others and share your best information

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Twitter is all about karma. The more good you put out there, the more you receive. When you find others with great information, don’t be shy in sharing with your community. It’s a great feeling when you promote one of your followers (instead of yourself) and it results in dialogue among your community. It ultimately reflects support for you and credibility for your follower. Win-win!

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9. Do… Learn the etiquette.

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Most important is to learn about when you should “@” versus DM (i.e. Direct Message):

• Sending personal information like a phone number or email address. (It may seem like common sense, but I encourage you to NEVER post personal information like your social security number over ANY public forum.)
• A conversation which will consist of multiple “tweets” or a lengthy discussion with more than three posts. (Many people on Twitter will “unfollow” someone who sends multiple “tweets” in a row. Trust me.)
• Asking multiple questions to the same person or the same question asked to multiple people. (Your content becomes less valuable when people see the same thing repeated too many times…especially right in a row.)
• Correcting a mistake you’ve identified in someone’s blog post or “tweet.” (This isn’t required, but it is considered a common courtesy. The person who made the mistake will thank you.)
• Thanking each of your new followers. (It’s a nice concept to thank each of your new social media connections, but keep in mind how many responses you’re sending out each day or within a 10 minute period.)
• Making a request to someone. (Want to ask someone to write a guest blog post or partner on a project? Don’t put them on the spot in a public forum. Once you agree on a partnership, then by all means, tweet away!)
• Constructive criticism…this is your call. (If you have some pretty serious feedback to give someone, consider the most appropriate venue.)
• Getting someone’s attention! (Want to make a connection with someone, send them a direct message to get things started. A lot of people on Twitter get direct messages sent to their email or mobile phone.)

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10. Do… Find out who some of the big players are

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Twitter is not a popularity contest and it’s your choice on whether or not to follow these “top tweeps,” but they do tend to share a lot of great information. Did you know Pete Cashmore and other Mashable () “tweeps” are on Twitter?
Stay tuned for a follow-up to this post on what NOT to do.

KODA | The National Society of Collegiate Scholars

KODA | The National Society of Collegiate Scholars

KODA is one of the best ways to connect with employees at the companies you love, and learn more about the industries you want to work in, when you graduate.
Those who get jobs after graduation have more to offer than just their great grades-- they have the right skills, personalities and experiences.
NSCS has partnered with KODA to bring a number of great benefits to NSCS members. First, when you join, you can use KODA to find internships, jobs and learn about prospective employers all in one place. Second, for every NSCS member who joins the KODA community, a contribution will be made to the NSCS Scholarship Fund.
So if you want to share your strengths with the people who matter, join KODA now to make a difference for you and the NSCS Scholarship Fund.

5 Dating Rules You Should Never Break

No one said dating was easy, but follow these five rules and you'll enjoy a richer experience as a single person.

by eHarmony Staff

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When it comes to your love life, do you wish there was a rule book? While The Rules are so last century, a new dating handbook has yet to be created in the new millennium. So how do you know the dos and don’ts of dating? The truth is there are no hard and fast rules, but the following guidelines should help you navigate the tricky terrain known as your dating life. 

Rule #1: Listen to Your Gut
Whether you’re on a date, communicating with someone you meet online, or flirting with a cutie you meet in the flesh, it’s important to pay attention and listen to your gut. If a potential date’s actions or words set off an internal alarm system, you owe it to yourself to pay attention and act accordingly. These alarms can be both good and bad. For example, if you’ve met someone online and they seem interesting, then you talk to them on the phone and they sound completely different (in a negative way), you may decide not to meet them in person. A positive example would be if you were on a date with someone and they seemed nervous but well intentioned, your gut might tell you to give them a second chance. By going on a second date, you’ll gain a better understanding of who they really are and if you’d like to see them again.

Rule #2: Pay Attention to Red Flags
Like those internal alarms that alert you to your gut feelings, you also have an alarm system to alert you to red flags. Oftentimes this alarm system is turned way down. As a result, we often ignore red flags and find ourselves getting involved with inappropriate partners because we’re not paying attention. To become a truly successful single in the new millennium, you owe it to yourself to become a red flag specialist. That means paying attention to red flags as they are presented to you on dates. An example of a red flag would be if you found yourself on a date with someone who could not stop talking about their ex. They may be a fantastic person, and eventually make a great partner, but right now they’re not ready. Your job is to pay attention to that red flag and not pursue them.

Rule #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
During the course of your dating life you will most likely find yourself on a date with someone whose actions speak much louder than their words. Maybe they’re attentive and chivalrous to you, but treat the waiter, bartender, and/or valet poorly. Or maybe they claim they’re ready for a long-term relationship, but their wandering eye tells you otherwise. To get the most out of your dating life, it’s important to understand that actions speak louder than words. When someone’s actions are contrary to their words, this is not only a red flag, it’s gut-check time. By paying attention and screening out potential partners whose actions don’t match their words, you cut down on wasted dating time and make it that much easier to attract potential partners worth your time and energy.

Rule #4: Don’t Play Games
Successful singles know what goes around comes around. They also know the importance of being honest and well-intentioned with the people they date. As a successful single, you owe it to yourself and the individuals you date not to play games. Call when you say you’re going to call. Do what you say you’re going to do, and be honest when the other person asks if you’d like to go out again. If you don’t want to see them again, say so in a kind and considerate way. By being honest and letting them down easy, you avoid playing games. Expect the same in return. If you don’t get it, don’t play games by taking that out on the next person you date.

Rule #5: Know When to Say “Game Over”
Just as you should not play dating games, you will want to avoid getting played. Like it or not, there are plenty of players on the dating scene. It’s up to you to know the signs of the player, know their game, and be confident enough to say “game over.” Here’s how to spot a player: When they approach, they’ll take you off guard with a backhanded compliment/insult along the lines of “you’re too cute to be wearing that” or “I’d buy you a drink, but you probably wouldn’t talk to me.” These tactics are known as The Game. The player’s motive is to take you off guard so that you’re on the defensive and try to make up for it by engaging in their game. The problem is, these players aren’t genuine. Instead of falling for their tactics, simply smile, say “game over,” and walk (better yet, run!) away.
While there are no hard and fast dating rules, there are definitely guidelines to follow to make your dating life more enjoyable. By listening to your gut, paying attention to red flags, and understanding that actions speak louder than words, you cut down on wasted dating time. In doing so, you not only avoid getting played, but you also greatly increase your chances of relationship success.

Read more: http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2007#ixzz0ju2cLBzQ

The Power of In-Person Networking

PMI.org | Career Central

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Power of In-Person Networking 1 March 2010 Even in today's Web 2.0 world, project managers still have to put in some face time. Social networks have become de rigueur for working new career contacts. With users that number in the millions, LinkedIn, Mixi and other sites allow professionals around the world to connect with colleagues past and present—expanding networks to numbers never before possible. But project managers should not forget the importance of in-person networking where connections are more personal and impressions longer lasting. The next time you attend a networking event, remember these five tips: 1. Focus on your audience. Don’t you hate it when you’re at an event and the person you’re speaking with is scanning the room to see who else is there? “When you are networking with someone at an event, give him or her your undivided attention,” says Wayne Botha, PMP, principal consultant, Botha Consulting, South Windsor, Connecticut, USA. “Networking is about building lasting relationships, not about pushing unwanted business cards at strangers,” he says. Instead, concentrate on what the person is saying and try to pick up nuances you can leverage later. “People are impressed when you meet again and you recall their name along with details of your last meeting,” adds Mr. Botha, who also serves as a vice president of membership for the PMI Southern New England Chapter. 2. Go in prepared. “Have a standard set of questions that you can use to begin a discussion,” says Sue Bergamo, former CIO, Aramark Galls & Wearguard, Boston, Massachusetts, USA. Not only will you be ready to approach someone, you won’t do all the talking. “People love to talk,” says Mr. Botha. “The fastest way to build new relationships is to inquire about the other person's work, and then ask about their biggest challenges or successes. You may learn useful information in addition to building a new relationship that can be mutually beneficial.” 3. Make connections from the executive suite on down. Reserving your networking to only top managers is a mistake. “My contacts are at all levels,” says Chester, England-based Charles Ryder, PMP, director of the project management training firm Kennedy Ryder. “When I meet someone that I believe has the potential to be successful or is successful and I enjoy their company, I will contact them again.” It’s a practice that has served Mr. Botha well. “While managing a project in 2002, I worked with members of another team,” he says. “I made the effort to visit their desks instead of phoning them while taking a few extra minutes to talk about their hobbies and interests,” he says. In 2008, when the team needed a new project manager, Mr. Botha got the call. “I was recommended by multiple team members due to the relationships we had built six years prior.” 4. Follow up right away. This is where in-person networking and online networking converge. Connect with your new contacts on LinkedIn or friend them on Facebook if you use your account for professional purposes. And don’t overlook the potential of e-mails and phone calls to people you know and with whom you’d like to stay in touch. 5. Never pass up an opportunity to connect. Sometimes even a seemingly random relationship leads to a big payoff. “I was traveling to London when there was a problem with the [rail] lines,” says Mr. Ryder. Forced to change trains, he took the only empty seat he could find. “I chatted to the person in the next seat and we got on well. In the conversation he indicated that his company was setting up in Geneva, and I gave him some advice and contact names. We exchanged cards and parted,” Mr. Ryder says. “Some weeks later his company put some project management training our way.” And isn't that what networking is all about—making and working contacts in ways that can be beneficial to your business and career, and to theirs as well?

Get the Top Five In-Demand Skills

Standing out with the skills that employers value most can lead to better job security and more opportunities for advancement

Posted 2009

While entire industries line up for government rescue packages and multi-faceted bailout plans, the best kept secret for personal survival is far less complicated and completely under your control. Avoiding layoffs or finding a better job depends on how well you stand out with the skills employers value most.
As the winds of recession blow colder than at any point in the past three decades, those with the right skills and credentials will find protection from the storm and emerge stronger than ever. Now is the time to prepare with online professional education from the nation’s leading traditional universities.
Don’t Just Survive… Thrive!
Contrary to popular belief, many people do prosper in challenging economic times. The difference between merely surviving and thriving is your ability to distinguish yourself with superior professional value. Never lose sight of the direct correlation between your employer’s success and your own well-being. If you want to secure your employment and earn more money, start by developing the expertise that organizations need – the types of in-demand skills taught 100% online.
Five Skills Sets That Can Make You Irreplaceable
Put your career on the fast track by becoming an expert in one or more of these key areas. Then gain complementary skills to further insulate yourself from the perils of recession.

1. Leadership/Negotiation: Today’s organizations want all employees to be leaders – from administrative assistants to senior executives. There’s no substitute for the sought-after ability to guide and influence others, whether you’re motivating a small group, managing a large department or charting the course for an entire organization. The most successful professionals know how to maximize their interpersonal skills, resolve conflicts and build high-performance teams.
2. Business Analysis: Improving information flow within an organization is more than just a good idea; it’s critical for success in today’s challenging business climate. Nothing distinguishes you from your colleagues like the sought-after ability to identify and design processes that ensure timely delivery of cost-effective products.
3. Project Management: Want to increase your visibility and contributions? Learn to lead improvement initiatives that result in measurable growth in ROI, sales, customer retention and speed to market. You’ll further boost your value by managing risk and applying proven practices that keep projects on time and within budget.
4. Six Sigma/Lean: The United States’ sluggish economy is forcing companies to find new ways to reduce waste and operate more efficiently. Professionals with Six Sigma and Lean expertise are in high demand because they can save companies thousands of dollars by leading quality improvement initiatives, implementing faster response times and lowering costs to provide products and services.
5. Supply Chain Management: With issues such as late deliveries and inventory shortages proven to kill a business, a well-managed supply chain is critical in any industry or location. Whether you’re in planning, procurement, manufacturing or logistics, developing your supply chain management skills will help you and your company excel.

Whatever your industry, expanding your knowledge will enhance your short- and long-term prospects, ensure better job assignments and create greater career mobility. Instructor-led online university programs also prepare you for certification, which is often the primary path to salary advancement.
Numbers Tell the Story
Advanced training and certification can help you transform a company through heightened productivity, innovation and savings. Statistics show that earning new credentials can also be worth quite a bit to you personally, both in terms of annual salary and job security.

• $102,750 – Average salary of Business Analysts (from the U.S. Department of Labor)
• $101,500 – Average salary of Project Managers (from PMI Project Management Salary Survey – Fourth Edition)
• $100,592 – Average salary of U.S. Six Sigma Black Belts (from iSixSigma magazine)
• $114,210 – Average salary of Certified Information Systems Security Management Professionals (from Certification Magazine Salary Survey)
• $125,833 – Average salary of Directors of Purchasing/Supply Management/Sourcing (from the Institute for Supply Management’s Salary Survey)
• $102,000 – Average salary of Certified Professional Contract Managers (from the National Contract Management Association)

Fashion Show - Isaac Mizrahi

Fashion Show - Georges Hobeika

Think Green From Home

Need more ways to make your home eco-friendly? Need to recycle? Here is a website that may offer you some tips. Check it out:

Think Green From Home

We Are The World 25 For Haiti - Official Video

Making Moves for a Healthier Generation | The White House

Reposted from The White House Blog:

Making Moves for a Healthier Generation

Posted by Jesse Lee on February 09, 2010 at 02:46 PM EST

"It’s done, honey," President Obama said to The First Lady earlier today as he signed a Presidential Memorandum establishing a task force on childhood obesity to address the growing health epidemic. "Now we work," she responded.
 
The new task force is charged with developing an interagency action plan to solve the problem of obesity among our Nation's children as part of the First Lady’s Let’s Move campaign. The campaign will take a comprehensive approach to engage both public and private sectors to help children become more active and eat healthier within a generation, so that children born today will reach adulthood at a healthy weight.

President Barack Obama signs a memorandum on childhood obesity in the Oval Office. From left are, Education Secretary Arne Duncan, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, First Lady Michelle Obama, and Interior Secretary Ken Salazar February 9, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Samantha Appleton)

Within 90 days, the task force will develop and submit to the President a comprehensive interagency plan that details a coordinated strategy, identifies key benchmarks, and outlines an action plan.  The President applauded all those involved:

I am so proud of the work that the First Lady, along with the Cabinet Secretaries behind me, has done in trying to tackle one of the most urgent health issues that we face in this country, and that is the increase of childhood obesity. And because of the outstanding planning that they've done, they are going to be rolling out a terrific plan of action that involves the private sector as well as government agencies coordinating much more effectively a lot of public information out there to help parents make good decisions about allowing their children to be active and eating healthier.

Members of the task force include: the Secretary of the Interior; the Secretary of Agriculture; Secretary of Health and Human Services; Secretary of Education; Director of the Office of Management and Budget; Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to the First Lady; Assistant to the President for Economic Policy; and heads of other executive departments, agencies, or offices as the Chair may designate.
Speaking at an event later, the First Lady explained what motivated her to take this on: "These words – 'overweight' and 'obese' – they don’t tell the full story.  This isn’t just about inches and pounds or how our kids look.  It’s about how our kids feel, and how they feel about themselves.  It’s about the impact we’re seeing on every aspect of their lives."

Snow 2010

Yes!! It's snowing again! As you can tell I love snow. Last weekend, we had our first snow storm for the winter season. Roads, businesses and schools were closed Saturday -Tuesday. The snowfall for my area was about 9 1/2 inches!  This happened January 30.

Right now - the following weekend, we are in the middle of another snow storm. However, this time its at least 4-6 inches for my area. However, Washington DC is expecting a record 20-30 inches! If you're in it, drive safely!!

Let It Snow!!!

I am soooo excited that it's snowing here in Virginia!!! Yay!!! This is the first snow for the Winter. We got 3 - 5 inches overnight. Now it's rain mixed in with the snow. I'm suppose to go to work today - unsure about that though. My sister in Fredericksburg got 8 inches and it's still snowing!!!! Can't wait to move up there!

If yall have to go out in this weather be safe! Have a Happy Holiday!!

Are you ready to Blastoff?

I just got my free Blastoff site. A customizable web page that combines the best news, videos, music, games and social networking with cash-back shopping at the biggest online retailers. Check it out by clicking the link below.

http://my.blastoffnetwork.com/tabithakwaller

Al B: On Cheating | The Tyra Show

Tiger Woods. It's hard to have a conversation lately without that name popping up. And the story just keeps expanding, so much so that Tiger may accumulate enough jump-offs to make a run in the playoffs! What ever happens moving forward, I hope there's some good that can come from this scandal. One possibly good thing is that people are talking about infidelity.
But what exactly constitutes infidelity and why do people cheat?
First, what is cheating? This definition from Wikipedia sums it up perfectly: "Infidelity is a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one's husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature." Yes, non-sexual cheating counts. It's not just the act of sex outside the relationship.
Cheating takes on three basic forms; Physical, Virtual and Emotional. Physical: This is the easy one. Everything from a kiss to a tryst and all that is in between. EVERYTHING. If you can't do whatever "it" is in front of your significant other, it's cheating.
Virtual: This covers a wide range of activities from sexting to flirting online, and can involve using pornographic materials and going to strip clubs.
The use of porn and checking out exotic dancers is one of those things couples have to discuss and create their own boundaries and expectations. But sexting, phone sex, chat flirtation -- are all violations. It's simple: if your interaction with a person excites and/or arouses you, then you're cheating. If you'd feel "caught" if your mate saw what you were doing, you know you shouldn't be doing it.
Emotional: This is the hardest one. It's a thin line between just having a good friend and being a cheat. Most women who cheat will cheat emotionally first. It may start with what seems to be harmless conversation but quickly becomes more. You open up, share secrets, aspirations, insecurities and problems with the relationship.
You let her/him in.
He/she is in your thoughts. You get excited thinking about a call, an email... lunch. You lie or create opportunities to spend time with him/her. All the while you're supposed to be emotionally engaged and committed to another. At first it was just a hug, but now you hold hands, touch a knee, wipe food from their mouth. At this point it's just a matter of time before that long gaze you keep sharing leans into a kiss.
People cheat for all kinds of reasons; for revenge, to fill a void in the relationship or just because they can -- whatever a cheater's reason(s), one thing is certain -- it's selfish.
That's something the Wikipedia definition left out -- infidelity is a selfish violation. It's the height of selfishness to hold someone physically and emotionally hostage while you serve whatever "need" you've invented. You know, the whole "I want my cake and eat it too" mentality? (Wait, hold on... I NEVER understood that saying. It's MY cake; of course I wanna eat it! Let's remix it...) It's a "I want my cake, or even two" type of mentality, and it's not fair to the other person or the relationship.
If you've gotten to the point in your relationship where you believe cheating is a viable option, stop. Think about why it's justified in your mind: Is it to strike back? To evoke an emotional response? Or just because it feels good? Whatever it is, before you act, think about your reason and then think about your relationship.
If the affair is of more value, start the process of ending the relationship, THEN re-engage the other possible partner. If the relationship is more important, push back from whatever counter-feelings are there, distance yourself from the person(s) the feelings are directed to. Work to solve any internal problems you may have, seek help if necessary and talk to your significant other about what may need to be fixed to make the relationship healthy.
Unfortunately, despite the latest celeb cheating scandal, men and women will continue to violate their relationships. And as we have seen so many times, infidelity can rip apart a bond, but it doesn't have to. Some will choose to leave, some to stay -- either way, each decision is unique to that relationship and should be respected as such.
You respected a person enough to enter a relationship. Respect that person enough to fix what's wrong -- or move on. Don't cheat.